Being A Women in a Modern World

The gang rape of a young girl in New Delhi has sparked outrage throughout the world. In the same week there is a man in east London who is randomly stabbing women. Two very different parts of the world women were being harmed in different ways. This is just two examples.

I have always thought that being a women in modern world, would be full of opportunities, a bright future, the freedom and impression that all women can breath. In the modern world women have grown changed, accepted, adapted and tried to make a difference.

Have women moved on and left the "stronger" sex behind? Where is it going wrong? And why is this acceptable?

2012 saw 65,000 sexual offences against women, in South Africa. Every part of the world is inhabited by the fairer sex and there are varying degrees of sexual offences against them. There is no generalisation as to why there is a decaying behaviour against women spanning continents. Each society is different and the canvas is reflective of that.

It makes me wonder as a woman of the modern world, have I made a difference to the society I inhabit. How can I say with confidence that I belong to a society that has accepted my success along with my sisters. There needs to a shift of perception and a flexibility of society. Will this take another 100 years?

When will being a woman in the modern world have meaning? 

People are Strange

The Doors wrote lyrics that comes to mind when travelling on a crowded train in London

“People are strange when you're a stranger; faces look ugly when you're alone."

There are thousands who use the tube everyday and each is pre occupied in their own world; travelling in different directions and making their way through the city. If you look around and just observe faces, many faces. Thoughtful, angry or then pre occupied. All our faces tell a story, and every story has some good and bad, some ups and downs. Faces are interesting especially when there is no mask and that only happens when people are unaware that they are being watched. It would be nice to look into people's mind and see what they are thinking. The thought could be as trivial as “Oh! I fancy a spicy meal" or has deep as “I wonder where my life is going and is this the end". The face may not tell all but it will give an idea of the thought.

I think faces that are older are the ones that tell all; they really tell you what lies beneath. On the tube there are hundreds of faces buried in books, newspapers. Tuning out the world while plugging in to a cell phone, I pad, or a tablet.

Next time you are on the tube; take a look around and see the faces. Tell me what you see.

Mondays!!!

Today is Monday, the start of the week. The day that says another week has gone past; and that time has flown. If you work in a regular job with regular hours; Monday - Friday 9.00 am to 5.30 pm, Monday is not perceived as a good day.

The faces you see on a Monday on a train are grim, unhappy, worried, stressed, and some forlorn. In the UK it's good manners and communication to ask co-workers “So how was your weekend?" And the reaction could vary from "Oh I had the in-laws around", "Got wasted”, “Same old same old”. But it always ends with “Oh I am so tired and it is just Monday" 

And that’s how Monday got a bad name, if we go back before the week was broken into days and the days were named. Everyone worked and spend hours, days and weeks doing so. But there was no day to be blamed for the start of the week.

If there was a popularity contest for days of the week; Monday would come last and Sunday first, after beating Saturday by a whisker. And considering there is only 24 hours between the two it’s something to think about.

Would it be any different if the week started with a Tuesday or maybe a Saturday?

Happiness or Contentment

Happiness means different things to different people. It is also transient and fleeting. It could last for a moment, an hour, a week or a year. 

So happiness is the big brother of joy. Joy is a smile when you see your family after a long time/ receive a rose from a friend/ read a joke/ look out of the train window and see the autumn leaves.

My kind of happiness; Laughing aloud while listening to your favourite radio show along with laughing silently while reading something funny. The thing is happiness adds value to you, and the therefore the world you have inhabit.

So if you are happy the world around seems bright even in the worst weather ever.

Happiness can be found in small or big places, it does not necessary have to be a life changing experience it could be a small thing and as simple as your neighbour putting your bins away. That is easy and simple; makes you smile. 

So what is contentment; is that being satisfied with whom you are and where you are. Contentment is more solid it does not have all the frills of happiness and does not give you a great high. But contentment does not fail you. 

Yet all our life we continue to chase long term happiness.

So what would you prefer Happiness or Contentment 

View of the World via the Internet

The Internet boom happened in the 80's and the bubble continued into the 90's. Everyone's view of the world changed significantly when via the Internet the world came to you. Strange but true suddenly there was a whole new world everyone had access to and engage in. And they did not have leave their home, or go anywhere, or be at two places at the same time. Cheers to that!!!

The 90's introduced the Internet the Napster era and the illegal music downloads. The 2000's introduced social networking; it invented the idea of social networking advertising. Suddenly everyone was talking to everyone via the Internet. You had social networking friends; found old friends; stalked ex's or new dates. Shared ideas via Cyber space

Today even if you have meet your friends for a meal the final goodbye includes "whatsapp me when you get home" What happened to an old fashion call/ message; oh yes my mistake whatsapp is free. Statistics show that making a call is the 5th activity people use their mobile phones. It's used to check the Internet; track your moments; login to your social network site. Besides use the 1000's of free applications that can help you find a restaurant; a film playing close to you; directions to the nearest superstore; the closest park; the fastest bus route and  maybe a a new life.

Slowly the world is getting closer or is it closing into your life. Is letting the world into your life a good or bad thing? How much of your private life is your own? Where and how does the information get used and tracked? The browser retaining the information you have logged in as/ your favourite websites.  

So the larger question; do you trust the Internet?

The irony remains that this blog is on that very same platform. 

It would be great to hear views.

Being Single or In a Relationship?

There are so many positives of being single, the many happy years I have spent enjoying single life. The lazy Sunday mornings, the dinners with friends, the surplus time at hand. The scheduling of your own life without having to consider anyone else. In your 20's, 30's and even till your 50's this may be great, enjoyable and acceptable. But what happens if you are 60 and never been married or divorced or have children is that socially acceptable. Do you use that energy into something more intellectually stimulating.

The negatives the constant peer pressure of being alone, the constant dating and seeking. Suddenly realising that the people having dinner with you are getting younger and younger. The feeling the pressure of being old alone. The wondering if married people are happier and whether having a companion help.

There is always a feeling if what you have is good enough, could it be better and  what does it lack. Many times the answers for this come down to; am I in a relationship/ am I looking for one/ am I sacred to have one/ do I value one?The current book I am reading has a great thought that life is the journey on the road of happiness. If there is a sense of contentment and inner satisfaction; consider we are not aiming at peace here.

Do all these questions mentioned above depend on the status of our happiness or where we are right now. Does are sense of satisfaction / contentment depend on our emotional attchements to where we are right now.


The grass is always greener on the other side isn't it?

Any thoughts?

Autumn in London

Autumn in London


London in Autumn I believe does inspires any one who visits. It may be grey cold and deary in autumn. There is rain with wind; sunshine is not to be seen much. yet some how the walk in the morning going to work or just a walk is exhilarating. The culture and glory that London offers seems to be enhanced in the Autumn.

You know it's autumn when the boots advertisement changes on telly, when the Christmas sales are everywhere and when nearly everyone around is suffering from or has had the flu. Autumn is one of the best times of the year for me, the colour of the leaves change, the air is crisp and a hot tomato soup has never tasted so good. Having lived all my life in a tropical country and seen only three seasons its nice to have a autumn to break things up.

Autumn brings change it always has change in your way of life/ diet/ job / thinking and  many more.
It signify s that change is natural change is good and letting go of the old and bringing in the new is great. It also signify s the passing of time.

London has huge visitors from all over the world,I particularly admire the ones who come in Autumn because they are seeing London for who she is ( I believe London is a she), and loving her / walking on her streets/ and being a part of her.

If you live in London/ have ever lived in London/ or visited in Autumn how was it?

Family and Friends

Family are Friends and visa versa

There is a variety of friends we have in our life; some friends we have know since we are young. The equation changes with family as well; the sibling we don't get along with when we are young, we tend to become friends with later. We make some friends in school/ college and university. And the friends we make at work.

Do friends who know us when we are young children of 4 or 5 years know us the best. Do they know the core of us? Does this core change as we continue into adulthood.? If we are honest people will we continue in the same vain.

As we go along in life do we add layers to our personality that makes us more socially acceptable; so we are technically rounding our rough edges so that we gain social acceptance. So as we continue going through life do we add so many socially acceptable faces that the to find the core of us needs peeling. We forget the core of us and don't look inward.

Can family be the best friends you have or can friends be so close that they become family?  A question requiring some thought, I know of siblings who are as good as strangers and friends who are so close that they could be siblings. The fact is we can choice our friends; our family is a given. 

In my case my siblings and I are very different as people and over the years there is mutual respect that has grown for each other. I will happily say we are friends. Do I have friends who are family yes at least a couple I can count on fingers of a single hand.

So in summary, any thoughts?

Detachment from the here and now

Detachment does it work?

Detachment is a funny one; feeling all the emotion but not basing a decision on emotion. Detachment or the idea of detachment has been around for years. Does that mean that the concern and the "I Care!" factor does not kick in? 

Well, I would say no. Not really. You could walk into a room and be detached to all the underlying currents that are flowing through. It does not mean you are not aware of the environment around you, but on the contrary you soak in all the under currents but can look beyond them

Well I like to define it as an out of body experience where you can feel, be moved, empathise; get involved but not react emotionally. It's a great philosophy to follow and it keeps you sane. The world around us changes every moment of everyday; as people(we are human beings) we have so much hitting us every day and the sense of inner peace and being calm gets lost in translation.

The action of being detached gives a sense of satisfaction and makes you think beyond. Isn't that just great!! The revelation makes me smile constantly. At work there were comments "oh! You must have had a great weekend!!!"

So let's have some fun with being detached. Walk into a room/ board a train/ walk down the street/ order a meal/ walk into work and repeat to yourself " I am detached; I can feel will act and not react to the situation".

Have fun with this one people!!!!!!!

Let's have some comments...

The Perils of 2012

Starting a blog; writing , has been on my mind a lot in 2012. Today is the day that I actually put fingers to a keyboard.

A Skype call from a old friend was the catalyst. So this one is for you Leena, and the many years of laughter that we have shared.

Today's topic : 2012 the way you make me feel. The good, the bad and the ugly

It started out as a new relationship you and me. New romance is always sweet and full of hope. My family was visiting me in the UK and I was meeting my delightful 2 year old nephew. So January to April saw romance  in full bloom and there was no end to the flowers and chocolates.

May was great as well and there was some intrigue added to the romance. Things started slowing down and the path of romance was littered with rocks when June hit. There were disappointments and somehow you dear 2012 looked sinister in the moonlight. The alignment of stars was not quite right and there were so many promises that you made that were broken so quickly.

July was a lot of travelling and reconnecting with nature. August was emotional and such heartache and a finally a "lets be friends" goodbye. A reconnection rejuvenation and reliving, and looking inwards.

October is still of promise and change; new romances on the horizon and the new found love for life.

Somewhere deep inside I still think you have been a great friend and companion 2012.

Question: How has 2012 been for you? Good , Bad or Ugly?