Family are Friends and visa versa
There is a variety of friends we have in our life; some friends we have know since we are young. The equation changes with family as well; the sibling we don't get along with when we are young, we tend to become friends with later. We make some friends in school/ college and university. And the friends we make at work.
Do friends who know us when we are young children of 4 or 5 years know us the best. Do they know the core of us? Does this core change as we continue into adulthood.? If we are honest people will we continue in the same vain.
There is a variety of friends we have in our life; some friends we have know since we are young. The equation changes with family as well; the sibling we don't get along with when we are young, we tend to become friends with later. We make some friends in school/ college and university. And the friends we make at work.
Do friends who know us when we are young children of 4 or 5 years know us the best. Do they know the core of us? Does this core change as we continue into adulthood.? If we are honest people will we continue in the same vain.
As we go along in life do we add layers to our personality that makes us more socially acceptable; so we are technically rounding our rough edges so that we gain social acceptance. So as we continue going through life do we add so many socially acceptable faces that the to find the core of us needs peeling. We forget the core of us and don't look inward.
Can family be the best friends you have or can friends be so close that they become family? A question requiring some thought, I know of siblings who are as good as strangers and friends who are so close that they could be siblings. The fact is we can choice our friends; our family is a given.
In my case my siblings and I are very different as people and over the years there is mutual respect that has grown for each other. I will happily say we are friends. Do I have friends who are family yes at least a couple I can count on fingers of a single hand.
So in summary, any thoughts?
Oooooo, another thought provoking blog, I Like it :)
ReplyDeleteMy uncle in Kenya said to me (something like)...."keep your old friends, they are like gold. They are the only ones you can laugh and joke with about the old times". With some of the friends I have, that I have known since school, that is certainly true. There are jokes we make about us and situations that will never come round again...when else are you that innocent, that "unpeeled" as your analogy goes.
The same is true of family you have grown up with (i.e. those that were an actual part of your life, not someone you just met at weddings, etc). I see them as the same - both are close family to me - to use the cliche, "friends are a family you can choose". Family that is not involved with you are like strangers, but with a opinions that can hurt and cause damage!
But old friends & family can unwittingly hold you back...they tend to react to the memory of you and not person you are now or the person you are trying to be. Friends & family that like you for your "core" will stay and feel new; as they are not expecting as much from you; as they know the core you and not the actor (i.e. they see beyond the top layers of peel). These and newer friends know and like you for who you are now and are supportive of that...but new friends can become old and families do change.
They way I am (starting) to accept things is to see those that know the "core" me as family, those that like who I am now as friends and those that I do not really know as guests! ...and if you do not like someone, then I ask myself why...what have they got to do with me? :)
I like your reply and the way you are thinking, it makes so much sense. I am so glad you are reading and interacting.. It means a lot..
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